Our SE sessions are made up of dozens, if not hundreds, of elements of experience encountered in the moment. Part of our task as SE Practitioners is to help clients thread their attention through these elements in a way that maximizes the sense of success while minimizing the sense of failure – ala the “I Can Principle.”
Judging what is going to become an “I Can” moment and what will lead to reinforcing “I Can’t” requires time, experience and attention. This critical weighing of what is going to work and what isn’t will be greatly aided by realizing that you’re constantly updating this assessment and that you”re better off working in relationship to ideals of “what should be happening” rather than continually frustrating a person’s success by either asking for or being unhelpful in minimizing when things will not be successful.
In short, we need to be able to perceive what our client’s “can do” and help them achieve that while doing our best to minimize what they “can’t do.” Here’s a reflection on some elements that go into this assessment.